being left alone with adulthood, it’s not about feeling “grown” or posting sad poetry in your stories. it’s that moment when you realize no one’s going to pull you up anymore, no one’s paying for your coffee, and no one’s going to explain why you even need to get out of bed. and yeah, for a lot of people, the whole “early twenties” thing hits like a truck — everything feels pointless, like nothing you’re doing will matter.

i was lucky in a way, i never fully lost my direction. but imposter syndrome, the feeling that i’m not doing enough, that i could’ve done more — oh, that’s real. but this isn’t about me. this is about the people who are in school right now and already lowkey gave up on the idea that they’ll be able to support themselves. not in the “oh no, i’m a humanities major” kind of way, it’s deeper than that. it’s about spending years of your life, paying for an education, and not even trying to figure out what to do with it.

four years is 6% of your life. if you throw that away and never use it, you’re not just wasting time. you’re setting yourself up for frustration. and when you can’t travel, or treat yourself, or buy your mom a gift, it won’t feel noble. it’ll just hurt.

and sure, your family might say things. they might pressure you, compare you, guilt trip you. but how you respond, that matters more. you don’t have to agree with them, but if every time they speak you collapse inside, maybe you’re not confident in your own path either.

and yeah, some jobs will be replaced by AI. so maybe don’t study for the ones that are clearly dying. but even worse than that is when someone pushes you into something, you say “okay whatever,” and then you don’t study, don’t work, and just complain that you can’t eat out like you used to when you lived at home.

i don’t wanna sound like some bitter adult, but if your whole life right now is just vibes and whining, you're gonna struggle hard. life isn’t gonna get easier. but you can get stronger. you can get honest with yourself. and most importantly, you can stop procrastinating your own damn life.

it’s late and i’m still up. had my favorite tea (the one that always makes me feel better), listened to sad music on repeat and worked on my homework. i’m a little nervous about the test tomorrow but i think i’m ready. kinda proud of myself for staying focused tonight💖

today i spent all time implementing some things for my work in my roommate's room. she left town for seeing her family, so i cannot blame her, but i kinda miss her a lot when i see archive of videos and funny pictures with her!